Tanzanian TV

HGirl has not seen anything except the ride from the airport to the hotel. It was downpuring when she arrived.

But the TV is on and she is flipping through the channels. CNN, BBC News, Matlock (weird choice, right??), the steve harvey show, some local programming, bringing down the house. big affinity for african american tv and movies here. nice that HGirl has something familiar to watch when she is still sick and a bit grouchy.

Read the fine print on your tickets, you could get screwed

The flights from Amsterdam to Tanzania turned out to be a nightmare for HGirl. Before leavng the US, she checked the baggage allowance on her paper tickets and it said 20K. Now she read this as 2 bags were ok. It was actually 20 kg.

What did this mean in practical terms? She had 37 kg of baggage and BMI Airlines (with a suprememly wenchy ticket agent) was going to charge her €42 per kg over. That would have been €714 or ~$900 USD to ship her overage.

So, she had to go to a shipping company that will put it on today's KLM flight, which would have it it later tomorrow. She could only pick it up on the 2nd. And she leaves on the 4th or 5th (this writer is so jet lagged she forgets when she is leaving.

Anyways, the bad should be on its was for €144 + some fees at the airport. Lovely.

HGIRL hate BMI and cheaptickets.com.

READ THE FINE PRINT.

HGirl has a head cold

Life is a bit shitty for HGirl today. She has a cold. It started Friday. But she went to the conference party anyways. Then she went to a coffee shop. She woke up the next morning and had to go present an oral at the conference (which went very well, thank you very much). By the time she was done with the oral. She was done. She went home to the Botel at about 2p and slept off and on until morning.

For some reason, none of the damn apotekes (drug store, pharmacy, chemist, whatever) open before noon on Sundays.

She though she had woken up at 9. Turns out it was 8 because the Netherlands turn back the clock in the winter like we do in the USA. So she walked around for 3 hours killing time. She tried a grocery store. Then a corner store. Nothing. Nothing.

When the stores finally opened, HGirl engaged in a bit of overkill. "Anta-flu" cough drops. "Antigrippine" pills [paracetamol, caffeine (weird, right?), and vitamin C]. Oscillococcinum (some homeopathic shit).

But she is feeling better now.

On broadcast channels?

HGirl was flipping channels tonight. You'll never guess what she saw on the broadcast channels. That's right, more porn. This was a "documentary" from the Playboy channel on BDSM and water sports. We are talking full exposure nudity.

HGirl is shocked. Just shocked.

He he he.

More on Dutch toilets

It may seem as though HGirl is obsessed with toilets and their purpose. But seriously, she is not. Its just that when she travels, she struggles in foreign bathrooms.

Case in point: HGirl went to the Van Gogh Museum with the British. She toddles off to use the loo. Now, toilets in the Netherlands have generally been roomy and clean. But an interesting design feature is that the stalls are generally little rooms - there is no gap under the door. So HGirl had to really go. She jumps in the next available stall, does her business and realizes there is no TP. Now, back home she could ask someone to pass it under the door. In the dutch toilets she would physically have to open the door. Not going to happen. But of heroine is resourceful as always - Tram maps come in handy sometimes.

Another case in point: HGirl is attending a meeting at Vrije Universiteit in Amsterdam. Again, nice and clean bathrooms. One thing: They are 5 or 6 inches higher off the ground than American toilets. There is no hovering on these commodes, they are too tall. They are so tall, that HGirl's legs swing as she does her business.

The search for Harley, again...

As most readers already know HGirl's fathers, Chrome Dome and Crimson Tidy love Harley Davidson. so everywhere she goes she tried to find a shop to get them shirts.

More often than not, Harley shops are not in the center of town (although there is a convenient one in the Denver airport). So, HGirl and the Diva decide to hunt down the Harley in Amsterdam. Armed with an address, they start asking folks if they know where it is. The Botel doesn't know. The tour guides from the bus trip don't know. We called the dealership and got the general direction with the assurance that it was only five minutes from the subway stop. Coupled with some info from the people at the VVV (info booth), our heroines were good to go.

They take a subway about 45 minutes out of the center of town. Out of the station, they start walking. And walking. They are in an industrial area. Then they hit the car dealerships. After about 15 minutes, they see signs for the Ring Road (think Capitol or Baltimore beltway). they think they are lost for sure. They make a left past a car dealership and see printing shops, mechanics and other industrial-looking shops with Dutch names.

But then they see a hint of orange. It was like finding a pot of gold. But was it open by the time they got there? Since Chrome Dome and Crimson Tidy are reading this blog, we can't tell you. They might have Christmas presents. Then again, they might not.

A moment of zen

Old woman in a shoe?

I think not. Doesn't she look fab??

Bus tour 1: Amsterdam, Zaanse Schans, Volendam and Marken

The British Diva convinced HGirl to go Griswold-style (think National Lampoon's European Vacation) and take a bus tour of Amsterdam, Zaanse Schans, Volendam and Marken. The Amsterdam tour included a tour of the Gassen Diamond Factory. That was pretty cool because they got to see a 121-facet diamond worth ~ €61,000 ($77,619.50 USD) - and it wasn't even in a setting yet. Next stop was Zaanse Schans and a windmill that was puportedly a former home of Rembrant. It was very picturesque as you can see.

The duo next went to Voldenham. They saw wooden shoes being made (with a lot of jostling from some bratty ass French children). They then headed to a cheese making factory. It smelled faintly of sour milk, but was otherwise kinda neat in a Clark Griswld sort of way. After the cheese making explanation, they were ushered to the gift shop where they could taste their cheese and buy some if we were so inclined. Polite as ever, HGirl and the British Diva waited their turn in line. But the family of tourist right in front of them (couldn't figure out where they were from) decided to beauguard the cheese samples. Instead of taking one cube of each sample, they were taking handfuls. They stood there for about 10 minutes scarfing cheese cubes. One can only hope they ended up with a stomach ache - he he he.

Next stop was a boat ride to Marken across the lake that was formerly the Zuider Zee. The ride was a little rough, but HGirl managed to keep her lunch down. The pair jumped off the boat. HGirl went in search of pannenkoek (small Dutch pancakes), which she had doused in raisins and rum to warm up a bit. Meanwhile, the Diva went in search of haring (herring). When they met up again, the Diva stunk of fish. Turns out the Dutch like their haring raw or pickled. Should've checked with Lonely Planet on that one.

Porn is ok, but not with your mother in the room

HGirl flipped on the TV and started changing channels. Looking for something good (and in English) to watch. Wonder of all wonders, we had BBC1 and BBC2, again confirming how Amsterdam TOTALLY caters to British tourists.

Anyways, Hgirl only caught the last 15 minutes of Eastenders (her favourite soap opera that fucking BBC America took off the air in favour of some BULLSHIT programming - but anyways). She starts flippin' again: Dutch game show with naked people crammed in a phone booth, some French drama, BBC World news, CNN International, Eurotrashy music videos, a woman screwing a man in a XXX porno.... Yeah, PORNO. Not that Skinemax after dark stuff where all you see is tits and ass. This was the real thing that you can by in the back of the stores in the village. And the British Diva was sitting right next to her. They both almost fell out the bed laughing.

Note to self: Find out if your hotel has free born before flipping channels with your mother in the room.

Dutch mass transit

Mass transit in Amsterdam includes a metro, trams and bicycles. Bikes are frickin' everywhere. Going down bike paths, locked up on sidewalks, and in bike parking structures. The bike bads are wider and nicer than the pedestrian footpath. Needless to say, Hgirl and the British Diva keep getting in the way of the walks. There have been a few close calls with a little bit of swearing and a lot of swerving.

Public toilets in Amsterdam

As you know, Hgirl is a little obsessed with all things toilet. She will talk about her toileting issues (hence the initation of the blog), is a fan of pristine toilets, and constantly regales her friends with stories of disgusting toilets.

Hgirl is particularly annoyed by Amsterdam's public toilet situation. This city is very male-centric. There are public urinals for men everywhere. Some of them barely cover the front of the body, let alone the back. And what is there for women? Almost nothing. HGirl and the British Diva spotted one port-a-potty and at least 7 urinals in their first 2 days.

Here is what the older ones look like:

Cruising on the River Ij

We catch up with Hgirl and her mother the British Diva (aka BD) hanging out in Amsterdam. After a touch-and-go experience at the airport (they almost didn't get on their JFK-IAD flight, which would have made them miss the IAD-AMS flight), they finally made it to Amsterdam.

The pair are staying at the Amstel Botel. Yeah, its a boat hotel. It is three stars, but in Europe that doesn't mean fab. But it is clean and close to Centraal Station. And it doesn't move like a boat, which make Hgirl happy because she gets seasick like a mutha fucka.

They walked around for a few hours and had dinner at an Argentinian restaurant. Pretty good.

After a lovely drug induced sleep (not pakalolo yet), Hgirl is ready to see all she can see.